2015年读过的书 @ 1/11/2016

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一眨眼,2015年农历新年又要来了。总结下今年看过的书吧,好像不太多,好多都挂在半路上没有看完。

1.渡边淳一《钝感力》:这本书有点心灵鸡汤的性质,但是确实也是言之有理,读完还是有有收获的。评分:4颗星

2.丹尼尔·戈尔曼 《情商》:鼎鼎大名的一本书,可能是我阅读理解能力有限,读下来的没太彻底搞清楚什么是情商,只是对情绪的生理和心理发作原理和管理情绪有了些了解,丰富了我对原理的了解。评分:3颗星

3.稻盛和夫《活法》五本:之前感觉这5本书一定是鸡汤文,而且书的名字还那么吓人。在书店偶而翻了翻,就把5本都买回家了。稻盛和夫身体力行的理念以及书中所举的自己的经历好似清风拂面。他提出无论在何处,只要一直磨练自己的心智不断精进,即便是乡间野夫也会有贵族的光芒。所谓“小隐隐于寺,大隐隐于市”。评分:5颗星

4.林达《历史深处的忧郁》:翻开美国的历史,在几十年前也是充满了偏见、暴力和血腥。3K党如何横行霸道;黑人权力历史上无辜死去多少人;美国在枪支管理以及审判制度上做的取舍。只是这个国家一直都在演化,中国也在变化,也许要等到我们的下一代成长起来,好多问题才能明白的谈吧。一如既往的好评。评分:5颗星

5.竖条纹大叔和美羊羊《美容大王和化学家》:众筹出版的书,作为铁粉有幸成为众筹的一份子。非常欣赏他们从成分分析和使用感两方面介绍了很多真正有用的产品。有时候成分有用,使用感差;有时候使用感很好,但是成分有害;有时候基本么有啥改变,品牌商硬要说新一代科技。真的可以排除掉很多造梦造出来的护肤品,找到真正正有效的。特别对护肤品他们提出也不能完全看成份。是否有效的分析因子,除了成份还有客体以及外部条件各种影响因素。成分里面各成分的量和组合也会影响使用。总之各种科学精神。评分:5颗星

6. 《谷底的阳光》:前同事的一本书,写的挺像偶像电视剧的,为了这本书她做了很多公关活动,还请六六来写书评,真是厉害。屌丝的我看着她以豪门为蓝本写的故事,觉得豪门恩怨多还是平常人家比较好。最重要是后来写客户管理的部分,我没有想到客户管理里面有那么多学问,真是世界有很多未知的领域,对每个人都要保持开放的心态。评分:4颗星

7.Bill Geogre “True North”: 本年度最好书之一,一口气读完的。文字通熟易懂,真是被一个个鲜活的故事感动了。每一个伟大的领导人都攀登过高山趟过黑河,做一个真实的领导人比做一个追求表面的领导人更能带来丰富和满足。这本书还提到过一个小时候被强奸的黑人女性领导如何跨过克服黑暗成为有影响力能带来改变的人。有机会还会再读的。评分:超5颗星

8.John P. Kotter 《权利与影响力》:很有收获的一本书,只是怎么没有早几年读到。读到开头的时候,真是自己都笑出声了,想起很多事情,真有“一江春水向东流”的感觉。评分:超5颗星

下面是没有读完的书

9.Carol Dweck “Mindset”:第一次听书,听到第6章就没有时间听了。其实发现听书还是不太适合我,听久了容易分神,想多琢磨的还没有明白就已经过去了。不过这个书内容很好,对比下,也会发现岁月真是一把杀猪刀。评分:4颗星

10.Paul Tough “How Children Succeed”:看到第3章,我每次用kindle版的都觉得翻页不方便,这本书统计数据好多,很想跳着看,每次翻页都很手残。评分:待定

11.鲁道夫.德雷克斯和薇姬.索尔兹《孩子:挑战》:看到11章,非常西化的一本书。但是提出很多很有代表型的场合和模式,这些东西似乎在全球范围都是通用。比如家里如果有1个孩子,3个孩子和5个孩子,权力将如何分布。每个孩子的典型性格会是怎么样的,父母是什么类型会造成什么样的影响。跟企业的组织管理学有得一比(虽然我也不懂)。评分:待定


好了,就这些了。年初的时候定的目标是12本,好像没有完成。考虑到我读了gmat的书,就算自己完成吧。

发布于 1/11/2016 15:26:54 | 评论:0

关于2015 @ 12/28/2015

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这几天大家都在总结2015年,虽然2015年的事情还没有结束,我也想透口气写写吧。2015年感觉马不停蹄地做了很多事情,至少能看到成果。

2月-3月,从老家过年回来,想着必须要在3月底前拿下学区房,于是马不停蹄地四处看房顺利拿下。为时一年的看房总算有了着落,我几乎成了大浦东半个房产中介,业务知识比我的中介还丰富。其实这个时候自己已经比较疲惫了,也算长松一口气。然后觉得终于可以把注意力放到自己的身上去了,跟某人学校的招生办主任吃了顿饭,他说还有几天,你现在可以申请,但是成绩一个月必须出来,要不明年吧。然后我就乖乖的回家了。

4月-6月:回自己的家放松休息了两次,吃了N次念念想了很久的夜宵。中间还穿插着办贷款房产证迁户口各种奇葩啰嗦的事情。本来还张罗着要自己装修房子,到处了解下,仔细一想,感觉自己买的房子装修其实很不错,小户型也住不长久,索性干脆不要装,装了也不能带来升值,思定下来,把自己的房子租出去,再租个大房子住。不如顺便把车换了。

7月-8月:交房,出租房,找房,卖车子和买车子,穿插着准备考试。比较顺利的是交房和出租房子,除了电话被打爆之外,啰嗦点好像也没有什么麻烦的地方。没想到难就难在找房子,啃爹的小区,没想到从7月开始一直到9月,居然没有什么房源,一个月出了1-2套算不错,还是10个人排抢的那种。我的这种性格,懒得跟别人争,觉得通过关系好的中介,让他们一有房源就通知我,结果硬是当了好多套房子的头牌看房人,看到我倒是挺高兴愿意租给我的,一听我有娃还是男孩,好多就直接pass我了。说起来真是一把鼻涕一把泪的。房子跟好多事情一样,讲究的是缘分,最后我是提前2月拿下一套房子,户型楼层车位装修包括房东都到了最佳的组合。这段经历大概非常有利于后面置换房子,周边各大小区的户型特点优缺点我都了然于心。然后就是把我们的小车卖出去,我们小车明年就要国内量产了,估计到时候这个价格会要跌。于是到二手车网站挂出去,还好它比较稀缺保养的比较好,所以卖出去的时候居然还卖高了20%的价格。然后又是奔波着办各种手续。中间抽空把OG和曼哈顿给看了。OG感觉这次看好多东西都字字珍贵,曼哈顿这本传说中的神书,我看了完全无感,浪费了时间。

9月-10月:感觉大事小事七七八八的事都办的差不多了,重点开始放到考试上,当然顺便还买了新车。本来打算9月份复习一个月就10月上旬考的,打开网站报名,啃爹的是10月份的考试全部满了,我才意识到10月份真的是很多人刷考试的最后时间。剩下的时间就是刚换题库那几天,瞬间压力感就上了,我感觉自己必须一次刷成,不然完全没有机会和时间了。考虑下,不能再等了,赶紧报了换库一个星期后的时间,反正不至于裸考啦。中间状态起伏就不说了,只能慢慢对自己说,会好的。

11月-12月:考试前天天开车去图书馆看书,考试那天从家里出去的时候,心想就考这次了考不出来拉倒。等我真的到了考试大楼的电梯里面,电梯往上升的时候想着自己走了好久好走才走到这个电梯这里,心里又生出这次考不好下次再来的想法就放轻松进考场了。说真的,考试的时候刚开始做太慢了,加上考试屏幕怎么那么大字体为什么那么大呢,我在家用的都是IBMX系列,结果到后来10题基本上什么逻辑什么结构完全没有看清楚,连蒙带猜完成的,和自己平时做题思路清晰的状态有比较大的区别。本来想肯定挂了,结果出来710,自己也吃惊了下,比较啃爹的是数学为什么才49分呢,中国人的平均分都没有到啊。于是我还想再刷一次。

事实证明这个想法也是蛮幼稚的。自从花了2万块报某个班之后,感觉自己花了很多时间在不该花的地方,我居然交了所有的作业,最后一次作业在发现大家都没有交的情况下才没有交。另外,本来是还想申硕士的,但是时间全都用在了挖掘essay上,搞的很复杂。感觉报这个班真是不太适合我。一是没有经验;二是用down-top的方法去挖自己真的是太浪费时间了。另外整个过程挖掘几乎让自己有点小奔溃,还在这种状态下写下一篇要奔溃的文章。然后还发现文章流出去了,说好的保密协议呢。其实倒也没有什么也收获了很多帮助,只是我想低调地做完这件事情,有就是有,没有就没有,不想弄得很壮烈。不过这事从我只想换种状态充下电找个风景美美的地方读读书悠闲散散步的想法到发现国内MBA真是血脉贲张的地方,阿里的那个产品经理直接挑战我说:你的锐气呢? 杀气腾腾也是种竞争力啊。虽然我也是同意他这种说法,但是到了这个年纪就算要佩剑也佩在心里,也可以不用佩在脸上和架势上。总之到现在12月没有完,我的essay还是很垃圾。怎么办,凉拌吧,都这样了。这两天才正常些,有一点可以肯定的是,以前的脓包的确也被戳破了,认识到了很多不足和问题,至少不疼了。无论结果怎么样,再次出发我很轻松。

好了,写完了。2015年再见了,感觉是很有进步的一年啊。




发布于 12/28/2015 12:36:57 | 评论:6

保密网志 @ 12/24/2015

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发布于 12/24/2015 18:10:25 | 评论:N/A

没事给自己找抽 @ 12/16/2015

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最近真是感慨到自己没事给自己找抽呢。
写essay写到要抑郁了,而且还效率很低。
写就写了,别人洋洋洒洒随便写就写了,我还非得剖心,剖得血淋淋的。
逼着自己面对自己不想面对的地方,其实说不定剖了也还是会变的。
写下来完全没有成功象,倒是绝望的感觉比较多。
自己和另外一个自己对抗的比较多,绝对的人格分裂。
一大把年纪了也不知道还折腾什么。

我感觉我可以取名这段旅程叫“穿越抑郁的森林”,希望能成长,面对自己的弱点真正地成长。


发布于 12/16/2015 23:14:57 | 评论:0

Book note @ 12/4/2015

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1. "If I can help people believe they can improve, I can motivate them to make
this journey of discovery, of honest self-appraisal, and of hard work toward
fundamental change. None of us is born perfect. We all have things that
we do wrong and get in our way. You have a choice of letting them get in
your way your whole life, or fixing them. Why wouldn’t you want to do
that? It’s illogical to me."
Perfection is not the goal of authentic leadership. Rather, it is to be true to who you are while continuing to develop yourself into a more effective leader. That requires the kind of deep introspection, feedback, and support

2.Once armed with a high level of self-awareness and self-acceptance,
it is much easier to regulate yourself and your feelings. Your anger
and emotional outbursts usually result when someone penetrates to
the core of what you do not like about yourself or still cannot
accept. By accepting yourself just as you are, you are no longer vulnerable
to these hurts and are prepared to interact authentically
with others who come into your life—your family, friends, coworkers,
even complete strangers. Free of having to pretend to be someone
you are not, you can focus on pursuing your passions and
fulfilling your dreams.

3.In reflecting on what she had learned through her work experience
as a star consultant at McKinsey, Alice Woodwark noted that
she tended to focus on negative feedback. The cycle continued
until she realized she was spending so much time responding to negatives
that she did not celebrate or take advantage of her strengths.
“No one achieves anything brilliant by mitigating their weaknesses,”
she explained.

Brilliance comes only from exploiting your strengths. Many of
the most extraordinary people in history were tremendously flawed
individuals. Margaret Thatcher, Gandhi, and Napoleon all had
striking weaknesses. Yet there was a part of them that was ridiculously
gifted and enabled them to achieve amazing things through
their leadership.

4.To integrate your life, you must remain grounded in your authentic
self, especially when the outside world is chaotic.


5.It does not matter what you do, as long as you establish a routine
that enables you to manage the stress in your life and gives you time
to think clearly about life, work, and your personal issues. It is critical
to avoid abandoning these routines when you are going
through an especially busy or difficult period, because that is precisely
when you need your stress reduction techniques to kick in.

6.Genuine friends—those we can count on in good times and bad—
are an invaluable resource in helping us stay grounded. They are
always willing to provide candid feedback, constructive criticism
when appropriate, and encouragement when most needed. Some of
Howard Schultz’s closest friendships are those he made during college
and in his twenties. He says, “There is a core group of people
you meet in life who are your friends because your relationships
really matter, not because of who you are or what you have done. It
is important to stay close to those people because your relationships
with them ground you and keep you humble.”

7.It is difficult to determine your passions in the abstract. Discerning
them takes a combination of introspection and real-world
experiences before you can determine where you want to devote
your energies. Without that understanding, you are vulnerable to
jumping from one high-status role to another without ever finding
fulfillment.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just for a moment, envision yourself at the end of your life. You are
at home in your bedroom. All the children, grandchildren, and
great-grandchildren have gathered around you to say good-bye.
Your adorable great-granddaughter looks up at you with her bright
brown eyes and says, “Please—tell us what did you do in your life to
make a difference in the world?”

Tears well up in your eyes and a lump forms in your throat as the
important people and events of your life flash before your eyes. You
think back to all the moving speeches given at your ninetieth birthday
party and recall that you never had the opportunity to say what
your life and leadership were all about. Now you have that opportunity.
In the presence of your entire family, what are you going to
say? What will your legacy be?

Why not take the opportunity to think about that question
right now, while you are still writing your life story? Just as it is never
too late to lead, it is never too late to make a difference in the world
and to leave a legacy for those who come along after you. But only
you can answer that question. When you know your answer, you
will also recognize why leadership is so fulfilling.

A close friend of mine devotes his time to working with businesspeople
in their fifties and sixties who have achieved great financial
success but find their lives are hollow because there is no
fulfillment in them. It is never too late . . . or too soon to step up to
leadership.

After studying numerous cases of failed executives in my MBA
class, a student asked, “Is leading an organization worth the risks of
failing, of being criticized, of being sued, or even of being disgraced?”
She was correct in assuming that being an authentic leader
means taking all those risks.
In my closing talk for that class, I quoted Theodore Roosevelt’s
famous 1910 speech at the Sorbonne, “The Man in the Arena.”

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong
man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.
The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is
marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly . . . who knows
great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy
cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement,
and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that
his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know
victory nor defeat.


Are you prepared to enter that arena, to dare greatly, to know
the great enthusiasms and the great devotions, and to spend yourself
in a worthy cause? If you are, in the end you will also know the
triumph of high achievement.
That is the fulfillment of leadership.

You cannot find that fulfillment by observing leaders from the
sidelines or by being a brilliant observer from the press box, high
above the arena. You have no choice but to get in there and get
your face marred by dust and sweat and blood.
That is what life and leadership are all about. Your fulfillment
comes not from the money, the titles, the awards, or the recognition.
These fleeting symbols of external gratification will vanish like
the wind.

What will remain are the memories:

• Working together toward shared goals with a group of people
you care about.
• Being passionate about helping other people or righting societal
wrongs.
• Toiling long hours to get it right.
• Debating and arguing to understand each other’s points of view.
• Failing and then regrouping to learn from your mistakes.
• Growing together as leaders.
• Making a difference in the world through your combined
efforts.

After reaching your goal together, pause long enough to celebrate
your success before going on to the next challenge. Then pass
it on to those who carry on after you.
That is the fulfillment of leadership.
It is knowing who you are and staying on the course of your True
North. And of knowing that when you found you were off course,
you were able to correct your direction and get back on track.
There is no satisfaction in your professional life that can compare
to this sense of fulfillment. No individual achievement can
equal the pleasure of leading a group of people to achieve a worthy
goal. When you cross the finish line together, all the pain and suffering
you may have experienced quickly vanishes. It is replaced by
a deep inner satisfaction that you made a difference in the world.
Countless numbers of people, many as yet unborn, will benefit
from your efforts. They will pass on your legacy to those who come
along behind, because at the end of the day, the only thing you take
with you is what you leave behind.

Is that what you will tell your great-granddaughter? If it is, she will
stand on your shoulders and see an even greater vista ahead to explore
on her journey to authentic leadership. Your legacy will be complete.
You followed your True North.
You discovered your authentic leadership.
The world is a better place because of you.
That is the fulfillment of leadership.
The discovery of your authentic leadership is well on its way as
you become a True North leader. Good luck and Godspeed on your
journey.





发布于 12/4/2015 10:54:59 | 评论:0

保密网志 @ 11/29/2015

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发布于 11/29/2015 11:37:22 | 评论:N/A

冒个泡 @ 11/19/2015

胡言乱语
最近10天过的实在乱七八糟,还得了咽喉炎。然后在最过不去心里那关的时候,把心底的话刨出来给了Wedu,然后想想自己的本心,下午在电脑旁对着上午还纠结得要死的long term career goal突然思绪涌出来,GAP也出来了。原来自己的难度在于中间这一部分,所有潜意识驱动自己去做的事情好像都连有了一条线索。why?why now? why this industry?why想转型?不过不知道是不是实际啊~好歹出来了一点。

放首今天听到好听的歌。赵小雷《南方姑娘》



《南方姑娘》歌词:
北方的村庄 住着一个南方的姑娘
她总是喜欢穿着带花的裙子站在路旁
她的话不多 但笑起来是那么平静优雅
她柔弱的眼神里装的是什么 是思念的忧伤

南方的小镇 阴雨的冬天没有北方冷
她不需要臃肿的棉衣去遮盖她似水的面容
她在来去的街头 留下影子芳香在回眸人的心头
眨眼的时间 芳香已飘散 影子已不见

南方姑娘 你是否习惯北方的秋凉
南方姑娘 你是否喜欢北方人的直爽

日子过得就像那些不眠的晚上
她嚼着口香糖 对墙漫谈着理想 哎哎

南方姑娘 我们都在忍受着漫长
南方姑娘 是不是高楼遮住了你的希望 哎嗨

昨日的雨曾淋漓过她瘦弱的肩膀
夜空的北斗也没有让她找到迷途的方向
阳光里她在院子中央晾晒着衣裳
在四季的风中 她散着头发安慰着时光

南方姑娘 你是否爱上了北方
南方姑娘 你说今年你就要回到你的家乡

思念让人心伤 它呼唤着你的泪光
南方的果子已熟 那是最简单的理想

NA... NA... 南方 南方... 南方


混音:赵照
录音:时俊峰 (福达)、赵照
吉他:赵雷
贝斯:二宝
MIDI:张涛
键盘:釜辰
手风琴:萌萌
和声:汪菲、赵雷
发布于 11/19/2015 22:41:38 | 评论:0

社区内部网志 @ 10/29/2015

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本篇网志仅供本社区内部成员(登录后)浏览。

发布于 10/29/2015 20:56:55 | 评论:N/A

保密网志 @ 10/22/2015

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本篇网志内容保密,请用 Blog 主人设定的好友密码登录后查看。

发布于 10/22/2015 11:45:20 | 评论:N/A

关于音乐关于有音乐的生活 @ 9/23/2015

胡言乱语
有时候专注太久也会容易陷入细节中导致脑子不好使,钻牛角尖看不到整个全局。在朋友圈里看到一个关于伦敦风情的帖子,深深地被图片和里面附加的Brandon Heath唱的《 London》感染,想起带我写过case的剑桥来的女教授举手投足间的优雅,想起一些事情,也想起曾经被上天厚待没有好好把握内心兵荒马乱的岁月,一阵波澜之后,又觉得曲子如海一样平复了因生活琐碎生出心里中粗粝冒出了点温润。都不记得有多久没有找歌来听。记起一句话大概如果想要让文艺女青年正常,请让她生次小孩就可以了。其实不用生小孩,让她不听音乐就好了,不轻易滥情靡靡之音也便好了。

前几天看到最好金龟换酒7月更新博客,资深文艺青年生娃了,题目是新生。一个孩子到底有多么disruptive to life,正如文中所说只有生过自己体会才算,其他人真的只是笑而不语。其实也不一定是神秘一笑故意不说,更多的时候是不知道从何说起,和“一往情深,情不知所以”是一个逻辑结构,但是情绪可能是复杂的或者相反的。这一两年总是能看到周边的女朋友在生娃之后有点挣扎,在明白 trade off之后,知道平衡在很大程度上是传说。前两天看到一篇MIT毕业的儿童教育家说到家庭和事业的平衡,作为两个都进了MIT的娃妈妈,她提到平衡可能不是最好策略,人生更像是四季,春华秋实,每一季有每一季的重点,作为新生儿的妈妈肯定在这个阶段需要作出一点牺牲,但是等过了这个季节,又可以回到应该有的重点上。接受这一点,从长计议,大概就是现阶段要做的功课。

所以还是要做个爱音乐的妈妈~锅碗瓢盆还得配点花~

9.22刘若英三年首发专辑,感觉刚做妈妈的刘若英唱出了我们这个时候心情。从对面男生的房间到岁月静好。刘若英步入中年,心平气和。期待26日上海演唱会:)



一路走下去

早就不信生命像什么诗 浪漫得万无一失
以为还没长大的同时 遗憾已经开始
每次都觉得是最后一次 习惯站告别位置
迷途中唯一的导航 是对自己诚实
有时太任性 有时太着急
宁可傻傻看不清
有时刻意把脚步放轻 在喧哗中淡定
换了风景也换了身边伴侣
更珍惜短暂相遇
忘不了昨日的美丽 也得一路走下去
用一份倔强安抚了悔恨 尽管这样太单纯
其实算不上什么好人 也做不了坏人
庆幸总有几个同路的人 让孤独并不残忍
时间会为我开一扇门 爱在门外点灯
有时太任性 有时太着急
宁可傻傻看不清
有时刻意把脚步放轻 在喧哗中淡定
换了风景也换了身边伴侣
更珍惜短暂相遇
忘不了昨日的美丽 也得一路走下去
原来人生总是不只这样 免不了跌跌撞撞
要面对的和要承担的 永远超乎想象
练习适应每天的不一样 怎可能毫发无伤
学着在失望中找希望 抬头是一片星光
总贪图安静 又忙个不停
怕一不小心滥情
有时刻意把脚步放轻 在喧哗中淡定
换了风景也换了身边伴侣
错过了转身继续
忘不了昨日的美丽 也要一路走下去
换了风景也换了身边伴侣
错过了转身继续
忘不了昨日的美丽 也要一路走下去
我不在乎回不回得去
勇敢一路走下去
发布于 9/23/2015 7:23:17 | 评论:2
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